Carroll family circus

Each new day is a day worth waking up for.

Friday, April 29, 2011

decisions, decisions , decisions

Sometimes I really don't like being the grown up. I close my eyes and go back in time to when I was a little kid running around the circle I grew up on, in my mismatched hand-me-down outfit, with my hair not combed, eating a popsicle as fast as I could before I melted. Staying out till dark, laughing with my friends, riding my bike or jumproping, or playing tetherball. Now here I sit, with my 5 darling children trying to make the very best decisions for them. Not sure at all what to do. I am sure my parents anguished over the decisions they made, and they were great, because it seemed to me that they made the decicions so easily! My problems seem so HUGE! Do I try to change the kids schools, do I try to home school, do we move, do we stay, if we move do we go to north dakota, or salt lake, And it seems like all these decisions need to be made RIGHT NOW! I have prayed, I have pondered, I have done what I feel I should do to get answers, but I still don't know what to do. I have sent the kids to school and waited till it was absolutley quiet, and just layed on the living room floor, and waited for divine inspiration to flow into me!! yet there is none. I am still clueless as to what to do, what is best for me and my kids, I have a daughter who has no friends, who wants to go to a different school, I have twins, (kinda) who probably should be in 2 different classes, I think it would be better for them, but my boys are pretty happy where they are, as for me..... I guess all in all, it doesn't much matter, I sit in my house all day, alone, so I am pretty portable. I can be alone here or alone somewhere else. You know what, being a grown up kinda stinks sometimes, I am not trying to make you all feel bad for me, I am truly not, I am just so confused, I know we all as adults come across things in our lives that we struggle with, and usually I am so great with snap decisions, even big ones, but this one has me stumped. oh well, I will keep up with my praying and pondering! thanks for the sounding board! Maybe I will go outside and eat a popsicle and relive my youth, and feel better :)
p.s. update on my thumb. I went to the dr. today, after wearing my oh so sexy thumb brace which I totally blinged out, it so did not do anything to help me, so we are back to thinking it is RA so I had a shot of cortisone today, the shot was not so bad, but as the day is wearing on, the pain is increasing. so I have upped my pain pills for now hopefully by tomorrow or so it will feel better, he said the shot should make me feel better for 8 months to a year, if it works at all, I don't know if that makes me feel better or not!


Lisa said...

Oh Mindy! I do not envy you your decisions. I sincerely hope you don't move! And I wish we could find a happy answer for schooling. I agree - being an adult sucks. And yet, that's all Kirk wants these days - to be an adult!

Jodi said...

I agree - I don't want you guys to move either! Those are all hard decisions and it can be so frustrating when the answers aren't coming NOW!

As for school, I am looking into It is an online public/charter school. They send you a free computer, text books etc etc. The kids have a teacher assigned to them and have to take all the state standard tests - they just do their assignments at home. I would be their "learning coach", and just make sure they do their assignments. They can move at their own pace and set their own schedule - they just have to get the assignments done each day. I don't know if I could do it or not with a 3 year old and brand new baby, but Maggie won't quit bugging me about it! We are going to an information session about it on June 1st in Pocatello. I will see how I feel after that! I also know that some people will be upset with me if I pull my kids out of school and even though it shouldn't, that bothers me!

Anyhow, I'm sure that didn't help your situation one bit, but that is what we are considering when it come to the issue of school!

Hope the answers come soon for you and I know that whatever you decide - it will be the right thing for your kids and your family!

Cathy said...

I agree too, we don't want you to move. Decisions are hard to make because they change everyone in your family. The school thing is hard, (we have had too many tears this year) but we all keep trying and hopefully we each find the answers we are looking for that will be the best for our family. Hang in there we love you guys!

Shannon said...

Yes, being an adult is very hard some days!! I love you as my neighbor!!! But you have to do what is best for your family as a whole. We will see what happens with my kids in West Side this next school year. It was a hard decision, but hopefully, it will be the right one for them and me. Keep on praying!

The Holt's said...

Being an adult is WAY harder than expected. I can only imagine it gets harder as your kiddos get older too. Sorry to go against the majority, but I vote that you move to SLC. We would LOVE having you guys closer. You will know what is right for your family. Maybe it's something different all together......good luck!

Jeanine & Christian Brown said...

I can give you what I have learned. There is not a wrong way. That is why you are not getting an answer. You pick the direction and if it is a direction that needs some help then Heavenly Father will step in and help. For school I am Home Schooling my oldest son this year. He is the only one. But next year he will be back in our neighborhood school. You can call me and I will talk to you about it.

Tricia said...

I am sorry Mindy. Those are very hard decisions. I vote for you guys moving to SL ha ha. The hardest thing is you have to be the advocate for your child. Haaving a child with Aspergers I feel like I am constantly fighting for him at school and its a fantastic school that will pretty much give me what I want but its still hard. No one else will advocate for your kids. Hope you are able to make some decisions that you feel good about. Hugs!