Carroll family circus

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Monday, March 14, 2011

being a mom isn't quite what I expected

Ok so when my kids were little ones I have to say I think I was a pretty good mom, sure I was tired, but I felt like I could handle things and I think I did a pretty good job, I did crafts with my kids, I LOVED just hanging out with them, watching movies giving them baths, laughing at the funny things that they say. my favorite part was the many cuddles that I always got! I could never get enough. I could hold them forever. I want to hold them forever. smell their sweet baby smell. Then sure as the world turns they start getting older! and before I knew It I have a teenager and an almost teenager!!! My daily life consists of arguing with them over doing their homework cleaning their room, don't spend so much time on the computer, get your chores done. And the worst part is, is that Jason would still cuddle with me, and love on me, but the boys have wrestled with him so much and have him so riled up all the time that even he won't cuddle anymore! all my babies have outgrown my needs for babies!!! so where does that leave me? Well I'll tell you it leaves me with a big empty hole! And I am thinking that is where the problem lies. How does a mom move on to the mom of older kids when her heart lies with babies she doesn't have? I have always told brian that when the kids get older he has to take over because I just knew I wasn't going to be able to handle it, but he just isn't here to do that, once again I am forced to figure it out, how to move on to my next mission in life, how to figure out older kids. And without wearing out all the knees of my pants by praying 24/7 I have to get something done!! I have to learn how to be a good mom to these older kids! I need to learn to keep the lines of communication open, I never knew how hard it was to talk to these things we call teenagers!!! (sorry mom and dad) In the wise words of judge judy " how do you know when a teenager is lying-- their mouths are moving" I couldn't believe it was true, till I had one!! and they lie about silly things. but like I said I am trying so hard to figure all this out, and I will figure it out. after all I don't have a choice, they are all growing up right!!! ok, so I have rambled, and I am not sure if it makes sense at all, so if I have confused you all sorry, just move on to the next blog!!!

5 comments:

Jodi said...

I'm so sorry you're struggling! You are a great mom - it's hard work!

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but this site has been my lifeline for the past 4 years or so and when I started implementing some of their techniques, I noticed a huge change in our home! They have lots of great information on the teen years too and even address Homework, etc! If you're interested here's the link: http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/ Hope you can find some helpful things to try on there! Good luck!

Lisa said...

So... you are amazing!!! I seriously think you are the best mom ever! You're my hero!
Here's what you do... come over to my house and snuggle my babies when you need it. And when you just need your teenagers to go away, send THEM to my house. :)
OK, really - there are 2 books that I think you should get. One is called "The Parenting Breakthrough" by Merilee Boyack. The other is the new parenting manual you get through the LDS family services (NOT the distribution center). Both are AMAZING references and help me tons with my little ones, but they also have great stuff for the older ones too.

Goodwin Family said...

I have to second that website from Jodi, she sent it to me and I really like it! :) And don't worry you'll have another baby to hug and cuddle in just 21 short weeks!! :)

Jeanine & Christian Brown said...

my mom told me that if you remember how your child acted when they were little say 2 when they get to be 12 they will act the same just in a bigger body. It is hard work. You can do it.

Tricia said...

You are an amazing Mom and you will get through this hurdle. And hopefully give me all the tips too :) I still have a 4 year old that LOVES to cuddle and hopefully we will have a baby sometime soon too BUT our oldest is almost 12 and I struggle with all these things daily. I think its also harder thrown in the fact that he is my step son and his Mom died. It makes for some very challenging days. My 4 and 8 year old easily clean their room but the 10 1/2 and 11 1/2 year old think I am trying to kill them by asking them to do chores and homework. What kind of mother am I lol Thanks Jodi for posting that website...I am going to have to take a look at it.

Just remember you can do this! I may have worn out knees too if I get through the teenage years ;)

Hugs!!!!

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